Forbes’ “Ten Travel Trends You Can’t Ignore” - and why you should ignore them
Last week Forbes Magazine released a list of “Ten Travel Trends You Can’t Ignore” which they put together with the help of some “travel industry experts”.
As I looked over the list, I was delighted to see that the first trend they report is eco-awareness. However, my boyish glee was quickly replaced by solemn dismay, as I read on and found that almost all the other trends are completely contradictory to environmentally sustainable travel.
Below is a reproduction of Forbes’ “Ten Travel Trends You Can’t Ignore” accompanied by my personal commentary.
The hero of our story. Read on to see the villainous trends she’s up against in her ongoing struggle to make people give a damn.
You didn’t think the Hilton’s would allow simple, rural families to continue to rent out their quaint villas in an attempt to supplement their modest, low-impact lifestyles, did you?
Hell no! They were a little late into the game, but luxury hotels are now on a mission to ensure locally run villas plague our travels no more! They will soon be replaced with overpriced, impersonal, and unnecessarily luxurious hotel villas. Thank God.
Sure the carbon emissions per passenger are 4-10 times higher than those on a commercial jet, but you don’t really want to travel with the peasants, do you?
Time with the kids, grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
This one we like. Puts a smile on my face every time!
“It’s a Sunshine Day”, sigh…
The only good thing about these gas-guzzling behemoths is they used to spend 364 days a year docked, because their workaholic CEO owners were too busy to actually use them.
Not so any longer! Devoted tour agencies are now making sure these giant wastes of space and natural resources hit the seas every day of the year!
Why can’t the little brats just live at school…
Geez…
As if our individual environmental footprints weren’t enough, wealthy travelers now want to bring their butlers, nannies, chefs, and yoga instructors along for the fun as well.
As a bonus, this trend also ensures that we invest as little as possible into local service economies.
While folks are gallivanting around the globe in private jets and yachts, it’s good to know somebody’s hard at work trying to get us out of the global shit storm we’ve created for ourselves.
It’s no secret that wealthy travelers don’t even want to scratch their own ass while on vacation. Unfortunately, however, this means they have to go to the trouble of finding someone else to scratch it for them.
Luxury travel consultants are here to save the day. For the per capita annual income of just 2,500 Ethiopians, they’ll make sure you have someone waiting at your door every morning to scratch your ass for you!
Camping used to be so lame. You’d live off the land, consume little, and leave nothing behind.
Now, thanks to resourceful companies like KOA Kampgrounds, this antiquated idea of ecological harmony is successfully being replaced by Jacuzzis, movie theaters, and restaurants. This should ensure we leave our environmental mark even while camping, hooray!
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Haha, these are hilarious, I especially like #9!
Everyday you seem to come up with some new and interesting thing write about pertaining to travel. I love it, thanks so much!
Rob -
I agree with Megan - great job on this post - very funny! I especially liked #8.
“While folks are gallivanting around the globe in private jets and yachts, it’s good to know somebody’s hard at work trying to get us out of the global shit storm we’ve created for ourselves.”
Thanks guys!
After reading the original trends I just couldn’t let them squeak by…
It was a fun post to write.
I loved this post too! The Forbes article really annoyed me.
I think Jane Austen said it best in Pride and Prejudice:
“The rich can afford to give offense where ever they go.”
Thanks R. Timmons, great quote!
Yes Rob, your commentary is hilarious. However on a serious note, the supposed environmental concerns of upscale travellers are so contradictory when they’re flying on private jets with their team of essential assistants. Why not just be honest and say I’m rich, I want to travel in style and dam the consequences.
Personally I think that the way they travel makes travel kind of pointless. If you stay in a hotel owned villa with your chef to cook the same meals you have at home, with your itinerary carefully planned by a consultant e.g. are whisked around the sites in a private limo, how can you have any kind of authentic travel experience?
Rob you are so funny, thanks for making my day!